The first time I ever inserted a dilator was in the bath. I had been trying for weeks with no success to insert the smallest dilator, and found the process frustrating, stressful and upsetting.
One evening, I was about to have a bath, and, on impulse, decided to take my dilators with me. I lay in the bath, closed my eyes and, after a tiny bit of resistance, managed to insert the first dilator. I was amazed, and shocked, and immediately shouted my husband through to the bathroom to show him! We both couldn’t believe it.
I don't know for sure why I managed to dilate for the first time in the bath, but I can safely assume it was partly to do with feeling more relaxed. I also think it helped that I hadn't set aside that time specifically to dilate: I had set aside time to have a bath, and just so happened to try dilating as part of that. I think when I was setting aside specific dilating times, I was so focused on achieving, that it was impossible to relax and be in the moment.
After that first time inserting a dilator, I didn't dilate in the bath again, as I then felt confident that I could do it. But it definitely helped the first time, and I would recommend giving it a try! As we always stress, we are all different, so you might find that it’s something that works for you beyond the first time, and instead becomes part of your dilating routine. Dilating isn’t exactly the most fun thing to do, so it’s important that you do whatever works for you and whatever makes the whole thing more comfortable and enjoyable.
Over to Kate…
Most people use the bath as a place to relax and unwind, and we know that feelings calmer and more in control are things that can be helpful in the dilating process. It’s also a place where we can notice our bodies more, how they feel, the sensation of water on the skin, or the smell of a bath oil or product that we are using.
Water is often described as therapeutic for many people in many ways, and for some people the sensations elsewhere on the body may offer as a distraction to the sensations of the dilators which they are anxious or fearful about.
Dilating in the bath isn’t something that I have specifically recommended as a therapist before, but as we can see from Kat’s experience, successfully using a dilator for the first time can be a huge confidence boost and motivation and encouragement to try again. On a very practical level, for some people the bathroom may be the only room in the house that has a lock on the door and so they can truly feel reassured that nobody will walk in on them.